


A Long, Slow Road

by thecookiemomma



Category: NCIS
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, NFA Challenge Response
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecookiemomma/pseuds/thecookiemomma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs and Tony notice each other right away. However, it takes them time to deal with the things life throws at them. Will this ever happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I challenged myself to stay under T, so I did. I was surprised at how it turned out. It wasn't supposed to be this long. Written for both the "How did it happen?" and the "We're not canon" challenges on NFA. Also AU in that it totally ignores the Frog storyline.

Tony hadn't been working for NCIS long when Gibbs noticed him. Well, he noticed him every day, since he was on his team, but on that Thursday, he _noticed_ him. DiNozzo was sitting at his computer writing up a report, fully focused on the task, and his tongue slipped out of his mouth, licked his lips quickly, and disappeared again. Gibbs closed his eyes for a moment, hoping to forget the arousing image, but unfortunately, he had no such luck. He shook his head, finished his report, and stood. “Goin' for coffee.” 

Tony glanced up, frowning. “Boss, if I give you a couple bucks, can you get me a hazelnut mocha?” 

Gibbs grunted, not trusting himself to say anything. Tony stood, fished in his pockets for his wallet, and handed over the requisite money. 

“Don't worry about the change. Give it to the barrista.” 

“The what?” 

“Coffee girl.” 

Gibbs grunted again and strode out of the room, but not before his peripheral vision caught Tony lowering himself back into his chair. Dammit. He purchased the coffees, brought Tony's back, and sipped slowly on his for a moment. He had his reports finished, so there wasn't anything left to do for now. This was the 'wait' in their 'hurry-up-and-wait' pace. It was so similar to the Marines that it was often a comfort for him. He snorted quietly to himself and shook his head. “Be down talkin' t' Duck.” He spoke quickly, and left the room again. 

Tony waved off his acknowledgment as he left, but returned back to working on his paperwork.

* * *

“Got a minute, Duck?” Jethro gazed around the room, noting the lack of bodies, the lack of assistant, and the paperwork in the man's hand. “If you're in the middle ...”

“Jethro, I am glad to see you. Have a seat. No, no, I've just finished the last of it...” He gestured over to a stack of files, and rolled his eyes. “One would think that after a man is buried, he would indeed be allowed to rest.” He smacked the folder down on the others a little forcefully, and the sound bounced off the steel tables and plain walls. “My apologies, Jethro. I am merely tired.” 

Gibbs grunted his understanding, and sat down on the stool offered. “Gotta question.” 

“As the young are prone to say, Jethro, shoot.” 

“Callin' me young?” Gibbs grinned, looking up at his friend. 

“If the epithet applies...” Ducky replied, equally amused, then gestured toward him. “Go on. You were going to ask me something, were you not?” 

“Yeah.” Gibbs frowned, and considered how much to say, or how to say it. He scratched his chin, and sighed. “Been seein' things...” 

“Jethro, if you have been hallucinating, you should have come to me, or another medical professional as soon as you were certain. There are many...” 

Gibbs cut off the doctor with a look. “Not seein' things that aren't there, just … noticing things that I hadn't before.” He felt that was safe. However, he'd worked for years with this man, and Ducky knew him very well.

Ducky's eyes narrowed, and he thought for a long moment before he spoke up. “So, you have changed your views on something, or something has caught your attention, and you are surprised about it.” He nodded. “As organisms, we evolve, Jethro. Your taste buds change roughly every seven years. My dear boy, even your gallant Marines have changed a few things here and there over the years to accommodate the changing times.” 

Gibbs sat silently, gazing unfocused at the steel drawers that held the victims while in Ducky's care. “Yeah.” That was a very good point. 

Ducky sighed, and Jethro knew he frustrated him at times. It was the same put-upon sigh he'd heard from Jack for most of his life. He snorted at that thought, but returned to the point. “Is that which you're noticing something injurious to anyone, Jethro?” 

“Dunno, Duck. Not sure.” He didn't know what DiNozzo's tastes were, nor did he know what the general reaction would be if he started dating a man. He'd done so a bit here and there when he was a teen, mostly with a guy from a rival school, covering their time together as baseball practice. They'd done that too. Those had been very different times, though. Nowadays, it wasn't uncommon for him to see two men holding hands walking down the street in certain parts of the city. It wasn't completely common yet, but it wasn't as rare as it had been. Or, at least, if some were to be believed, it just wasn't as hidden. 

“So, it is not an obvious danger, then. If it was, one would hope you would be discussing the situation with Mister Morrow, rather than myself.” Gibbs glared at him, the quick, 'well-duh' expression that seemed to silence most everyone, and Ducky sighed again. “I rather thought so. Then, the best course of action is to observe more. If you find evidence to support your conclusion, and it does not appear to carry danger - or perhaps, more accurately, the level of danger is acceptable - then, you know how to proceed.” He sounded a little annoyed that Gibbs wouldn't tell him exactly what the situation was, that his advice had to be so vague, but Gibbs didn't want to say any more. If he was gonna talk to anyone else about this, it was gonna be Tony first. 

“Thanks, Duck. Know I can get …” Now it was Gibbs' turn to wave his hand distractedly. 

“Stubborn, recalcitrant, taciturn, impatient...” Ducky grinned. “Indeed. However, if you were to change, you would no longer be the effective, irascible man we all know and love. Now, shoo. If I am correct, you have some pondering to do. Go home.” 

Gibbs grunted, giving him a half-glare for the backhanded compliment, and strode out, eager to do just that.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs sat on his couch, beer in hand, looking around his living room. There were signs of his life with Shannon everywhere. He'd just gotten the divorce with Stephanie finalized, but none of the three women he'd married after Shannon had left much of a mark on the place. To be honest, he hadn't let them. He took a long pull of the beer, letting Ducky's advice roll around in his head. If he did this, he wanted to be sure to do it right. He would have to work slowly, get used to the idea, and then, see if the man would even be interested in him. He had a feeling that he would, but he didn't trust his gut. Not on this. 

His first step was to take down some of the nicknacks that she'd put up on the walls. He put them in a box, a bittersweet melancholy seeping through him as he did so. He kissed the glass of a picture on the mantel, and finally, finally began the process of really laying his wife to rest. Having done so, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders, and moved to lay down on the couch to sleep. He thought about going up to sleep in the bed, but decided against it. One step at a time. 

The next step was to paint. Shannon had picked out the colors, and he hadn't liked them that much. He didn't really think much about saying anything, because he knew he'd be away for most of the time, and the unwritten code was that the Marine would serve the country, and his wife would serve at home. It was her domain, and she would set it up how she wanted, and run it efficiently. He had been damn proud of her, but it wasn't her domain anymore - it was his. Over the next couple weeks, he made it a point to paint the walls in colors he chose. He stayed within the appropriate colors for the time the house was built, but the soft greens and dark reds seemed to fit a little better than the bright yellow and sea green had. It was kind of strange to paint the walls with blurry eyes, but nobody was around to complain or ask him about it, so he just carried on. When he finished, he felt another part of the weight disappear, and he was able to smile again. 

In fact, Abby commented on it. “Hey, Bossman, how's everything going? You're alright, aren't you?” He smiled at her, and she stopped, turned around and faced him. “You are alright. You just gave me a big smile! A real one. You rock, Gibbs.” And then, in typical Abby fashion, she hugged him tight, gave him his information, and then shooed him out of the room. He caught himself chuckling at her childlike ways and shook his head as he stepped into the elevator. 

Gibbs continued to watch Tony, and picked up on a few things he didn't know. He was pretty certain the other man was bi, just like he was. One day, one of the newer agents had showered after a particularly gross crime scene, and Tony just sat there watching Mitcheson roll his undershirt on. He tried to play it off as inattention, but Gibbs knew better. That was a positive thing. He grinned for several long moments before schooling his face back into its 'bastard' mask and returning to work. 

They were trying to catch a petty thief with links to their killer, and not having much luck. Gibbs thought maybe they could use a woman on the team to help smoke out the bastard. However, it seemed they wouldn't need one. The man had one vice: he liked pretty men. So, Tony dressed up as a gigolo, and spoke Italian for two days straight. One of his possible 'johns' called him Spanky, and he played it up, swinging his ass more than usual. Gibbs was more grumpy than usual, having to watch and listen to him and not be able to do anything about it. When Tony was coming back to the Yard, having finally caught the guy, Ducky's mother showed up for lunch with her son. “Donald,” she gestured toward him, “Donald, he looks like that young man who moved our furniture around last month.” 

“Oh, yes, mother, he does. I shall have to tell Anthony that he looks like Paul. It should amuse him. Especially in this guise.” Ducky's eyes twinkled, and Gibbs flushed, glad that no one was looking his way. 

“Uh, boss, I'll just go get changed, and we'll go talk to Mikey, alright?” Tony sounded pretty nervous, and Gibbs figured it was because he'd been grousing at Tony for so long that the man was afraid he'd done something wrong. 

He sighed. “Go on. Good work DiNozzo.” The image of that smile, in that outfit would keep Gibbs warm for a while.

* * *

Gibbs kept changing little things, trying to work his way toward being ready to ask Tony about his tastes. His process of 'healing and changing' slowed down quite a bit when the workload increased. There was a murder on Air Force One, and Gibbs knew by the end of the case that they'd found their third person. She was a woman, a top-notch agent, and a perfect fit for the team. The only drawback he found was that she was fairly perceptive. He was afraid his 'observations' would be noticed by the profiler. So, he toned it down.

However, he was wrong. If there was one thing Kate had as a blind spot, it was Tony. She quickly grew to care for him like a brother, Gibbs could see, but when it came to who Tony could fall for, she couldn't see past the hem of her skirt. 

“Who was it this time, Tony? Julianna? Josephina?” Kate leaned over Tony's desk, chiding him, in full rant mode. Gibbs knew for a fact that Tony had spent the last few nights helping a frat buddy through a rough time. 

“Back off, Kate. You done with your paperwork?” He stepped in before Tony could put up more flash. 

“Almost, Gibbs.” 

“Almost doesn't cut it, except in horseshoes and hand grenades, Todd.” Gibbs settled into his seat. “Besides, I've got a gut feeling we'll be runnin' again soon. Best get this done.” He watched her face form into an expression of surprise at his unsolicited explanation. He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she backed off, returning to her desk to finish it. He looked over at Tony and caught a flash of gratitude. The expression made his breath catch, but he used his sniper breathing skills to keep from letting it show.

* * *

Tony loved his job. He loved working with Gibbs - he'd learned so much in the past two years that he knew no matter where he went, he would use those lessons. He enjoyed the work, enjoyed being able to catch criminals and help those in need. He was a front-line fighter, standing against the dark, and it felt good. Sure, there were always little things that bothered him - like Viv - but on the whole, it was a killer job, and he was glad to still have it. He loved Kate like a sister, and she treated him like she was one. It worked. He really enjoyed being around his boss, even more than he'd let himself admit. He knew he was bi, but with the bad experiences under his belt, he didn't want to deal with that here. He sighed, finishing up the paperwork and looked over at Gibbs in gratitude for pulling Kate off his ass. Gibbs nodded once, an odd expression crossing his face. Tony grinned, and started shutting down the computer.

“I'm done, Boss. Mind if I head out?” He knew the answer would be positive, so he went ahead and began his shutdown routine. 

“If your paperwork's done, then nothin's keepin' you here, DiNozzo,” Gibbs responded a bit gruffly. Tony nodded. 

“See ya tomorrow, Boss. You too, Katie.” He winked lewdly at her, twisting her tail, and she growled. 

“Knock it off,” Gibbs growled, not bothering to finish the thought. Tony heard the unspoken, _or I won't bother calling her out on her behavior next time._

“Yes, Boss.” He headed out to the car to drive home. 

As he tooled down the highway, hand drumming on the dashboard to the rhythm of a big band tune, Tony sighed. That growl had done more than encourage him to behave. It had affected him pretty strongly. He sped up a little, pulling into the fast lane to pass a slow truck, and pushed the thought into the back of his mind. Instead, he thought about the last couple cases and how well the team had meshed since Kate joined them. She made things easier, it seemed. He pulled into his apartment building and into his parking spot. 

Once inside his apartment, he loosened his tie and shucked his jacket. Then, he unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt. He muttered to himself about how he looked exactly like Senior. That wasn't a new thought, but it wasn't a comforting one. Resisting the allure of the scotch up on his shelf, instead, he poured himself a glass of apple juice and sat down on the couch to find something to watch. He flicked on the television and flipped through the channels. A hospital drama caught his eye, and he watched for a few moments. One of the doctors showed up, and he groaned. The man was good looking. Blue eyes, sandy blond hair, and a killer smile. That smile looked familiar enough that he was reminded of his boss. Just great. He made himself something quick to eat, then headed off to bed, tortured by dreams of silver-haired men growling his name.


	3. Chapter 3

The men got to know each other better throughout the next year. Cases came and went, and they spent some of their downtime together. Tony knew enough about his boss to want to spend even more time with him, and it was eating at him. When a small envelope with a SWAK on it came into the room, he grabbed it, wanting to push the man a little further into the jealousy he thought he might see on his face. In retrospect, it was a completely stupid reason to open an unidentified love letter. 

He inhaled, and in short order, was on his way to Bethesda, scared for his life. It didn't take long for him to realize that this was the real thing. He wanted to talk to Gibbs, to let him know at least that he cared for him in whatever way the man would allow, but, in typical fashion, Gibbs was off charging against windmills on his white horse. He sighed, cursing to himself when the action brought on another round of coughing. 

“What's the matter, Tony?” Kate's voice sounded less annoyed and more concerned. That bothered him more than anything the doctor could say. 

He handwaved off her concern, forgoing the coughing fit that would happen if he spoke. Through the haze of pain, short breath, and medication, he waited. He wished for Gibbs to come. He whispered his name, only to cough more often. Finally, he fell silent, at least out loud. 

It was that longing that kept him holding on. That, and the deep need to know why this had happened. 

It became more and more difficult to hang on, but he did. He focused on waiting, and in the end, he was rewarded. “You. Will. Not. Die.” That voice, those eyes, called to him, and kept him pushing through the hurt, even when he felt tired enough to give up. It was one of the most difficult things he'd ever done. However, finally, his body won the fight against the disease, and he began breathing more freely. He sat for twenty minutes, just appreciating the ability to breathe and the view in front of him. Gibbs sat in the chair beside him, slumped back, sleeping soundly. Tony was in no shape to consider anything but the heart inside of the man he saw. 

Tony had been stripped down to bare essentials, and what he found inside of himself surprised him. There was a deep wellspring of care that had grown up over time without Tony realizing. He smiled. He knew exactly what he wanted, and wanted to waste no more time lying or hiding. 

It was time to have that long overdue talk. When Gibbs chided him about “Spanky”, Tony knew that he agreed. 

Fate, however, had other ideas entirely.

* * *

Jethro stood back with Ducky, trying to get everything ready to move the bodies. There were two bodies in a car and the car had been driven off the ravine, most likely after the men were shot. He ran a hand down his face in annoyance. He wanted to get this case finished, get Tony back into the rhythm of things, then invite him over for steaks and conversation. They always had their best conversations over steaks and beer.

The sound of an explosion completely shocked him, and he hit the ground running. He saw McGee and Todd, but where was … Oh, hell. He growled to the two newer agents, and watched them long enough to know that they were out of the range of the blast. His heart lurched and he bit his lip to keep from yelling. _DiNozzo, get your ass up here..._ He watched from his place, knowing that if he got closer, he would do more harm than good.

The world seemed to slow to a near-standstill. Each moment felt like forever. Tony, breathing harshly, ran up to the edge of what he thought would be the blast radius - correctly, Jethro noticed - and ducked. He curled into a small a ball as his long, gangly form would let him, and covered his head and ears with his arms. The bomb blew, and Jethro closed his eyes, hoping to avoid seeing another person he cared for hurt or killed. When he opened his eyes again, Tony was joking about not feeling well, and bouncing up from his place. Jethro growled, and the team followed him back to the Yard.

* * *

Of course, the case escalated into one that drew all of them into a maze of deceit, pain, and frustration. By the end of it, Kate was dead, Tony was broken, and Gibbs couldn't get that bastard out of his mind. He stayed at work, pushing everyone and himself beyond healthy limits. He wanted to find the bastard. Finding Shannon's killer had been easy compared to this. This was extremely difficult. He growled and groused, forgetting about anything and everything except Ari Haswari. Tony stepped back, letting him have his space, letting him stomp and snarl and generally destroy things like a comic book 'anti-hero.'

They worked cases again, just the three of them, trying to work toward some sort of new normal. Tony looked ragged, and Gibbs knew that he was the one causing him to look that way. Tony pushed himself harder than any three men Gibbs had served with. It just never looked like it, because he was so good at what he did. 

The other thing that kept Gibbs growling was that Morrow had quit amidst all the mess from Kate's death. He had gotten a promotion, or so he said, but Gibbs knew that sometimes, promotions were more like being sidelined. The two men parted amicably, and Gibbs waited to see who they'd bring in to fill the big shoes. He was surprised as hell when it was her. 

"Hello, Jethro. Should we skip the "you haven't changed a bit" bull?" She smiled a secret smirk at him, and he stood ramrod strait, keeping deprecating headshake from escaping. 

"Why start lying to each other now, Jen?" He couldn't resist pulling her pigtails just a bit. It had always gotten a rise out of her before, and this time was no exception. 

"Special Agent Gibbs. On the job, it is 'Director Shepard' or 'ma'am'." And there it was. She couldn't resist the jibe. He smirked, and followed the thought to its logical conclusion, not even thinking about his team standing nearby. 

"Okay, what about off the job?" 

"There won't be any 'off the job,' Agent Gibbs." Bull. There was always 'off the job.' Even if you didn't meet or talk to certain agents socially, you still had a connection to them other than the job. Agents had come to him all over the place for help, for advice, for almost anything. So had his men in the Corps. It was slightly different, but close enough that it was an old habit. Jen's situation was even more complicated. The relationship they'd had in Paris made things ten times more sticky. There would always be Paris. He snorted at the thought, and she glared at him. 

In retaliation, he continued to twist the knife. "That's too bad. I missed you, Jen." 

She sighed, and relented a bit, and he grinned. "Don't make this difficult, Jethro." 

He relented. "Fair enough. Won't happen again, Director." That was another lie. They were both building a shiny house of cards that would blow over the moment something came up.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony watched the woman come up, interrupting his 'conversation' with Kate. His Nana had always said that there were things on this earth that you just did not question, and the appearance of a dead teammate shortly after her death was one of those things. Besides, if this wasn't his Kate, whoever it was was doing a damn good impression of her, and he wanted to hold on to something of her. So, when the woman walked up, sashaying her hips and looking like she wanted to charm him, he let her think exactly that. She was a charming woman, and very pretty. However, his heart was completely taken. If she would have come before he'd gotten the plague, he might have taken her out for a whirl, spent time with her, seen where it went. Now, she was eye candy. And, if his assessment was correct, very dangerous eye candy. 

He chatted with her for awhile, keeping her talking until Gibbs strode over with a redhead. He could almost see the lines connecting the two. He sighed, and turned his attention to the conversation, then learned that the woman was their new director. 

"I want you on Ziva's ass." Gibbs growled at him, already focused back into the case. 

"She's not really my type, Boss..." Tony tried to interject some humor into the situation, and possibly remind the man of things they'd not discussed, but were floating between them. The smoldering looks and obvious history between Gibbs and the new boss made him a little jealous, and he wanted to slip in a subtle reminder that they had things to talk about. 

Instead of responding in kind, or even just brushing it off, Gibbs got pedantic. That was worse. "To tail her."

"I know that." It came out snappier than he intended, but he couldn't bring himself to care. If Gibbs wanted him to be snarly and focused, that's what he'd get. There'd be consequences later for both of them, but damn the man, he would do what he needed to do. 

_Of course_ , he grumbled to himself as he followed 'eye-candy' to the pool, _of course, with the new director around, I got the shit job of following the agent. I hope she's on the level..._ There were always wheels within wheels when he worked with deadly women, and this situation was a prime example of what could happen when two were working together. He cut his thoughts off, and focused on the task.

* * *

Ziva settled easily into the team. They'd gotten Ari right through the head, and Jen had put her on their team. Gibbs wasn't sure what to make of her at first, but she settled in, calmed down for the most part, and got to work. He had no issues with that at all. The rest of them were still all grieving Kate, which was clearly evidenced by the fact that they wouldn't let Ziva sit at Kate's desk for a long time, but that was normal. Healthy. They remembered her, and worked through it. They solved cases at a pretty good speed, too, having four people on the team again. That was enough for him. Having Jen around was rough, since there were still reminders of their nights in Paris close to the surface.

He was the kind of man that when he fell for someone, regardless of gender, he fell hard. It was extremely difficult for him to connect the dots between having her around so much and her not being his anymore. It made things difficult for them. It also pushed that 'conversation' to the back of his mind, into a place he couldn't reach. He hadn't forgotten about it, but between Tony's over-the-top flirting with Ziva and others, and Gibbs' own memories, it wasn't important anymore. The status quo was just fine. 

They dealt with a case involving assassins, and Tony and Ziva went undercover as a married couple staking out the Marine Corps Ball. Jethro knew that Jenny was angling for an invitation, but he was going alone this year. He'd promised himself he would, and since he knew that he couldn't sleep with the Director and have the two of them be effective in their jobs, he decided to keep the job and play the cat and mouse game with her. Besides, that was kind of fun at times, too. Complicating, but fun. 

He watched from MTAC as Tony and Ziva rolled around on the bed, acting like they were making out. The longer the 'show' went on, the tenser he got. He did get a kick out of Tony's quip about his leg, and allowed a little bit of the smile to show on his face. Most of him was still reacting to the images and sounds on the screen. It was like the best porn, except starring the one you wanted to keep. He waited patiently until they were done messing around, then went to go get a coffee. 

It wasn't long until they'd wrapped the case up, Tony kicking the everliving crap out of a man while still tied to a chair. Gibbs took one look at him, at the expression on his face, and those old feelings returned in full force. His breath caught, and he moved over to release his agent. 

"I want a divorce," Tony snarled, the frustration with the case evident on his face.

* * *

Tony loved going undercover. It was one thing he did very well. If he could have done it full time, he would have. New places, new faces, getting to help separate the good from the bad, becoming someone new for just those few minutes: it was exhilarating. If he would have started younger, he could have done it full time and learned all the tricks to keep himself sane while adopting so many different personas. Between his age and his big mouth, he couldn't do it all the time. So, when he got the opportunity to go undercover, he took it.

This time was a little more difficult. He was undercover with Ziva, the dangerous one. He'd accepted her place on the team and worked with her. They'd started to get a decent rapport, but he still didn't completely trust her. It was a razor's edge. He loved it, but if Gibbs and McGee weren't there, things would've been a completely different story. He opened the robe, showing off his skin-colored boxers. They were tight enough to look more like skin, but loose enough to avoid making him look completely like a ken doll. He frowned, considering his options, then decided to do the most obvious thing. It would confuse anyone listening and give them time to respond if someone ... intruded. "Roll with it, cherie," he whispered, stepping into his role as Jean-Pierre. 

"Oui," Ziva replied, and Tony pushed her back on the bed, straddled her, and began murmuring quietly to her, stupid things that would make her laugh. She caught on, doing the same, and they faked a good orgasm, making jokes about length of time and satisfaction. He knew all of this was going out in five-by-five AV. He internally grumbled at the thought that Gibbs would have to stand there in MTAC and watch this while he moved on top of a woman. But it was just for the job. His heart wasn't in it. He knew where his heart had been committed, and it was definitely back in MTAC. 

They moved together like a well-oiled, well-trained machine, and at the end, when Tony sat, tied in a chair, kicking the everliving crap out of the man on the floor, he scowled at the look in Gibbs' eyes. Feeling especially snarky, he snarled. "I want a divorce."


	5. Chapter 5

They'd just closed the case, and gotten everything squared away. Kody was shuffled off with his mother, and Gibbs was looking forward to a nice, long, uninterrupted session with his three Bs. Boat, bourbon and basement. He wanted the loose feeling the bourbon gave him, and the silence of his basement, the quiet rasp of sandpaper against wood. Instead, he got slammed back against the wall. If not for the fact that he recognized the man whose body covered him, he'd have slammed back, kicking a foot behind a knee, and taking him down. As it was, he looked up into angry green eyes. "What the hell, Tony?" 

"You. Stupid. Idiot." Tony growled, emphasizing each word by jabbing gently at his chest. "You keep throwing yourself into these things, and ... one day, one day, you're not gonna come out." 

"I'm okay." Gibbs tried to reassure him, but Tony wasn't taking it. 

"Yeah, today you are." Tony seemed to deflate a little. 

"You see a way this could have gone differently?" He ran through possibilities in his mind, coming to the same conclusion. He couldn't see a way to get all the objectives without one of them going in there. And he was the least flappable. 

"Not the point." Tony commented offhandedly. "You know..." He sighed. "We never did have that conversation, did we?" 

"I thought it was ..." Gibbs replied to the first part, cutting himself off and tilting his head in consideration. "You still wanna? Thought you'd gone after Ziver." 

"Oh, no. No no no." Tony shook his head violently. "Wanted it to look that way, but no. I want her to underestimate me." 

"Come back to bite you in the ass." Gibbs knew that it was already starting to. 

"Yeah, I'm fully aware of it. Back to the other topic. I held off because you were gazing soulfully at short, snarky and red. You know, her majesty?" Tony nodded his head quickly toward the director's office. 

"Old news. We messed around in Paris, and she wants back." Gibbs sighed. 

"And you don't?" Tony pulled back enough to let Gibbs push away from the wall. "C'mon. Let's go get a coffee or something. Better not to have this conversation here. I want to say things to you that ought not to be overheard." 

Gibbs grunted his approval. They headed out to the coffee cart outside the building, and found a place to sit down and talk. "No. I don't want back with her. S'why I made Rule Twelve in the first place." 

Tony nodded, and Gibbs could see the wheels turning, weighing and accepting. Tony sighed, taking a sip of his coffee, sitting silently as he enjoyed it. "And now? If something happens? Rule Twelve still apply?" 

"Have to figure something out. Need to find a way. Some things are more important than my rules." Gibbs grinned as he watched the expression on Tony's face go from content and musing to shocked and hyper-aware in a very short period of time. 

Tony set his cup down on the table between them. "Really? There is something more important than your rules?" He shook his head a little as though he needed to clear it.

"Well, you know the unwritten one. Maybe that's the difference." Gibbs thought out loud. It was a pretty good distinction. 

Tony nodded again. "If it's family, then you won't have as many issues. But how do you define..." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Listen. We're not gonna get through this today. Hows about we table this for a bit. Just be aware that I do want to be with you. More than ever. The more I get to know you, the more I want to." He snorted. "Now, finish that up, I'll buy you another one, and then you need to get home and relax with your Bs." Tony knew him too well. 

"Yeah." Gibbs chugged the rest of the hot liquid, then stood. "Same is true," he turned to face Tony and reached down to pull his head up so that their eyes met. "Don't forget it." He chucked two fingers under his chin in a sign of affection, winked, and then strode over to get his own damn coffee. 

When he looked back, Tony was still seated, sprawled in his seat, a slow, easy smile on his face.

* * *

Tony stood outside the room, hand splayed on the glass, his heart breaking. He watched the man's chest rise and fall, and shook his head, trying to prevent himself from crying. He'd told the man. He'd told him not to go rushing into things. That one day, he wouldn't come out. Gibbs came out, but it wasn't the Gibbs he knew. This was Shannon's Gibbs. And -- oh, knowing that the man had married so young and lost her explained a hell of a lot, but it still hurt that Gibbs had never told him something so important. He pursed his lips, gathered himself together, and strode out of the hallway. Gibbs didn't remember who he was, let alone what they'd talked about.

They hadn't gotten around to talking anymore, of actually acknowledging the growing relationship between them, because work had gotten in the way. There had always been another case, another situation, another thing they needed to do. So, when Gibbs went into the ship to find out about Pulla, they'd still left everything unresolved. If they'd have stepped any closer, he could have announced it to everyone without shame, and been in there, part of the process. Or, at least that's what he told himself. It might still have been like this. He wasn't sure which was worse: having been waiting and watching and dreaming, or actually having the man in his arms, in his bed, and having all of it ripped away. He strode out of ICU and into where the rest of the team was gathered. "I'm outta here. I've got stuff that needs done." Abby gazed at him with sadness in her eyes, and Tim frowned, but otherwise, none of them said a thing. 

He slipped away, drove home and pulled down a bottle of Scotch from the shelf. Not caring at all whether he looked like Senior, he poured himself a glass, neat, and sipped it slowly. He kept silent and stoic as he sipped the booze, letting the warmth ebb through him. Downing the last of the glass, he coughed a little, and wiped his arm across his face. It was only then that he noticed his cheeks were wet. 

They were again when he heard a gruff, "You'll do" as Gibbs walked out of the room, possibly for the last time.

* * *

Gibbs sat out on his seat outside of Mike's cabin and drank his beer. He knew he wasn't going to be here long, but he did need time to deal with everything. Shannon, Kelly, that ship... all of it weighed heavily on his mind, and he needed the silence to think. He didn't have a car or boat to tinker with, so he helped Mike refurbish and repair his ramshackle little cabin.

"So." Mike began, and Gibbs frowned. 

"What?" He tried not to make his voice show the annoyance, but if anybody knew him well, it was this man. "Sorry, was just thinkin' a few things through." He shrugged.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You got any idea how long you wanna stay down here? Offer's open, of course, but ..." Gibbs growled again, waving off the question. He knew he'd have to answer, but for now, the conversation was derailed by the phone in the house ringing. "Lemme get that. Ten bucks says it's for you, Probie." 

"No bet." Gibbs sighed, and stood up, following his mentor into the house. He listened to the conversation, then grabbed the phone. "Gibbs." 

Ziva's voice on the line surprised him. Something niggled in the back of his mind, and he knew that something was coming to bite Tony in the ass. He couldn't remember the specifics exactly, but he knew that whatever it was had led to this point. He talked to her, and promised to come back up to help her. He turned to Mike. "I'm not payin' you ten bucks." 

"You can buy me a beer next time I get to Norte." Mike smiled, a small, feral smile that made Gibbs shake his head. His boss had looked at him, discerned the situation in seconds, and knew exactly what to say to keep Gibbs focused. "Now. Go pack your damn bag. You can come back and finish the roof, if you want. If not, I'll get Pedro to do it." He nodded toward the town where the young teen who usually helped him with all his scut work lived. 

"Yeah, yeah yeah." Gibbs rolled his eyes and set to pulling his stuff out of the cabin.


	6. Chapter 6

One case turned into two -- Fornell's baby girl was in trouble, and he couldn't just ignore that -- and then he realized that he missed this. BS and all. He missed working with his team, he missed everything. So, he took his old desk over without much fanfare, and started barking orders at the team. He looked at each of them. McGee and Ziva looked fine. Tony, though, looked like shit. Dark circles under his eyes showed his exhaustion, and it seemed like the man's belt was even tighter than usual. Tony had lost more weight. He sighed, drawing his gaze up to look his second in the face again. Tony felt him looking and slowly turned his head, looking him straight in the eye. Gibbs read a lot there. Over the years, he'd gotten used to reading the man's expressions. He saw exhaustion, relief, frustration, care, and something else. Hurt. 

Dammit, he sighed to himself. "DiNozzo, with me." He purposefully led them out to the coffee cart and got them both a coffee. He couldn't remember which table they sat at, so he sat down at an empty one and set Tony's hazelnut abomination in front of him. "Sit. Gimme a moment." Tony looked up, eyes filled with confusion, worry, and a bit of hope. However, he kept silent. Gibbs was grateful for that. He sipped at his coffee for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "Tony," he eventually began, "The way I came back..." He paused. "Won't happen again. You did a damn good job runnin' things, and I shoulda done it differently." It was enough of an apology. If he let the actual words "I'm sorry" cross his lips, he was afraid that Tony would bolt. "I remembered a few more things while I was in Mexico. Things I wasn't sure were just wishful thinking or if they'd really happened." He snorted. "Then, I walked past here the other day." 

"Our conversation that wasn't." Tony nodded. "Yeah. We were gonna have that conversation, what, a year ago? And I was being stupid and trying to make you jealous, so I grabbed the SWAK letter, and ..." 

"And then we lost Kate and I went off grid." Gibbs nodded and took another sip of the brew. 

"Not physically, but yeah. You were out in Timbuktu, Boss." Tony chuckled, hiding his nervousness with his own coffee, playing with the stir stick, sipping at it, twisting the paper on the side of the cup. "I'm glad you're back." 

"I am too. Not enough to do there. I got bored real quick. I think at the end, Mike was just inventing crap for me to do." He snorted. 

Tony laughed for a moment, then frowned. "So, Boss..." 

Gibbs cut that right off. "Jethro." He fell silent again, looking up, watching the expression of surprise and pleasure cross the other man's face. 

"Jethro." Tony paused, as though he were tasting the word in his mouth. "Jethro." He nodded. "I still want this. Jenny tried to get me to do some stupid thing, and I told her no, not if I didn't have backup. She wanted me to date this girl to try to capture her dad. There wasn't any file on him, and I wouldn't have had backup, so I turned her down. I had to do some smooth talking to keep my job, but I managed. She's been dumping all the crap jobs on the MCRT since then. I think Probie and Ninja know it, too, because between that and the fact that I'm either too much like you or not enough like you, they've been giving me hell since you left." 

This wasn't what he was expecting to come out of Tony's mouth when he gave him the permission to use his name. However, it was enough of an issue that the words had just fallen out, and now, Tony looked mortified like he hadn't intended to say anything at all. Gibbs reached out, leaning over the table to chuck his fingers under Tony's chin. "Hey. Look at me." Gibbs looked steadily at him, and waited for him to calm down a bit. "Team stuff, I'll deal with. If they start givin' you crap, I'll call 'em on it." He let go, settling his hand down on the table. Tony caught his intent and slid his hand over closer. Their hands touched briefly. It was enough. He smiled. "As for everything else, you need to eat, sleep, and spend some time vegged out in front of a movie." He tilted his head a little, taking in Tony's form and his reactions. "And if you wanna count this as our talk, we can. I know what I want, and it's pretty clear that you want somethin' similar. Gotta tell me if you don't." He ran a finger along the edge of Tony's thumb, hiding the action from view with their coffee cups. 

"I do. Want something similar, I mean." Tony replied, eyes darkening a little. "I want to come over and spend time with you, help upgrade your stuff into the twenty-first century, Jethro. I wanna sit beside you on the couch and make out." He whispered his words, then stopped, taking a drink of his coffee. "I want to do a whole lot more for you and with you. I don't want to lose what we've got at work, but I don't see that it'll affect it badly unless we let it." 

Jethro chuckled, and tapped him on the hand again, more of a quick, friendly tap than the caress he'd done before. "You're right. We're both professionals, and we'll deal with it. Now, c'mon. I gotta talk to a couple of agents about their behavior." 

"Oh, god, Boss, no, I mean..." Tony backpedalled, hoping to get him to change his mind. 

"My team, Tony." Gibbs grinned. "Lookin' forward to it. I needed to dress 'em down for attitude anyway, might as well have some good examples to go with it." 

"Oh, god, oh god, we're all gonna die?" Tony deadpanned.

Gibbs snorted, drained his coffee, and went over to grab another one. "Go finish your report and let me deal with the other two. Please, Tony?" He looked up, and when their eyes met, Gibbs had obviously made his point because Tony startled slightly and nodded. 

"Yeah, alright." He sipped on his coffee, and strode back into the building, chatting with the security guards on the way.

* * *

They finished their day fairly quickly. Tony didn't hear the specifics of the dressing down Gibbs gave his teammates, but they came back into the bullpen looking suitably chastised. Tony left them alone, knowing that his quirky irascible persona was not what they needed at the moment. He finished his work and caught Gibbs' eye. "Boss, I'm done. Did you still want me to go take care of that before I go home?"

"Yeah, DiNozzo," Gibbs' tone was dry, but his eyes flashed with mirth. "You two done?" When he got two affirmatives, he continued. "Alright then, go home. Eat somethin'. Sleep." He snorted and started shutting down his own computer. "Tony, you go take care of that, and you can do the same." 

"Yes, Boss." The thing he was going to go 'take care of' was picking up some pizza for the two of them. He grinned and left the building, heading straight for the pizza parlor near Gibbs' house. He picked up one of Gibbs' favorite supreme pizzas with all the weird toppings on it, and he picked up one that was sausage and extra cheese for himself. It didn't take quite as long as he thought it would, and so in a few moments, he was at Gibbs' house, setting it out on the man's table. He pulled a couple of beers from the fridge, and uncapped his own. Loosening his tie, he shrugged off his jacket and sat down on the couch, beer in hand. He settled in to wait. 

It didn't take long. He could hear the sound of Gibbs sedan coming up the drive. He'd gotten used to that sound, and it comforted him. The door swung open a little later, and Gibbs strode through, looking around. His gaze fell on Tony and immediately softened. "Hey." 

"Hey." He didn't know why he was nervous, but he was. "Got you a supreme and a beer." 

"Perfect." Gibbs sighed, settling into the seat at the table, cracking open his beer. "What'd you pick to watch?" 

"I didn't. I wasn't sure we still wanted to do that." Tony shrugged, standing to move over to the table. The smell of his pizza was starting to call to him. He reached out, and feeling the need to touch Gibbs in some way, he settled his hand down on the other man's. "I don't know. I may just want to watch you sand on the boat, or something." He shrugged. 

Gibbs seemed okay with that. He grunted, taking a bite of his pizza with his free hand. He turned the other one over, grasping Tony's hand. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it worked for now, and they'd find their way soon enough. They ate silently for a while, then Gibbs released him, nodding his head toward the couch. Tony set down his slice, and brought the beer, settling down on the couch beside Gibbs, into the circle of his arm's embrace. He shifted a bit to be able to lean over, and then he did. "It's taken us a long time to get here, Bo -- Jethro." Tony corrected himself, grinning. 

"Been a long, slow road," Gibbs agreed, and almost as though they had planned it, the two men leaned together, lips touching in a soft kiss.


End file.
